laser KILL PEOPLE DEAD WITH LIGHT tag

Randomly, flying to my brain like a stealth fighter in the night, I thought a weird thought. I pondered an exceptionally odd circumstance. I queried a query so queer...

Laser Tag.

Question: Do they really expect you to follow all of their safety rules?

Now, If you've never laser tagged (which is understandable for anyone over the age of 10) then you need to know a little bit about said "sport."

Laser tag is a very complex masterfully orchestrated ballet of children and middle aged geeks shooting lasers at each other. Mind you, not REAL lasers, that would just be painful. The point of laser tag is to shoot as many people as you can, in a darkly lit, smoke filled maze that is often decorated by glow in the dark paint and steep ramps that take the wind out of the less athletic.

Anyway, there are often certain rules that the laser arena enforces. (enforce seems too active) Often there are such rules as: no running, no climbing, crawling, squatting, hitting, fighting, modifying your laser so it blinds a 7 year old...and the like.

It's a bit odd though don't you think? You are released into a Nam like environment with a "gun" so you can shoot Charlie (5th graders) and there is no running? No crawling? Shoot, we would have never won the war with these rules! (What's that? You are saying Vietnam wasn't technically won?...I don't believe you...)

Safety, I get it. But, Do they REALLY expect A.D.D. cake filled 5th graders (and me) to pay attention to those rules, to abide by them? That is just about the last thing I am thinking of when I am being chased by little Dougy and his army of birthday guests. Hardly on my mind when I am being pummeled by laser beams from 35 year old sniper's who are waiting in the wings. With smoke in my eyes, labored breathing (again, the ramps), the evil ruthless laughter of tiny target height commandos; I get a little panicked okay. I do run, I do block my sensors that recognize when a laser hits them (quite often), I do jump, and yell, and crawl, and kick people in the face when I'm lying on my back because my left foot is suffering from jungle rot...

There aren't any "enforcer's" of the rules anyway... So I'm like Snake baby, I army crawl that shit, I take out children in stealth mode, I bite people if I have to!

I'm just saying, who doesn't right?

Playing fair isn't any fun. Don't they know this?

Oh, and that rule where your tag name can't be violent (i.e. killer, machine gun, Dick Cheney) is RIDICULOUS. Just change a letter around... like smokinghandgum, or cerealkeeler.

Just thoughts... I guess when it comes down to it breaking the rules has never really helped my score though. I'm still dead last when I do play (once every 3 years). I think a 2 year old shot me once.