Galloping

Stumbled upon this pretty well known photo (of which I knew nothing when I found it) of model Christine Keeler in what was to be the icon of modern furniture. Just liked it a lot, and thought I'd share.

Speaking of the 60's, what is it with all of this light and glory shining upon Julia Child? I saw Julie and Julia, and it was cute, but for me Julia Child was not a household name when growing up. Or, IF she was, it was in reference to this SNL - The French Chef.



Nope, instead I watched Graham Kerr on PBS. Why? He was infinitely more entertaining in his artery clogging, wine drinking escapades on The Galloping Gourmet. However, I can't find the episodes anywhere... If you haven't seen his show, and you like to cook, or you just like to watch black and white shows (weirdo), I suggest you see it. If you can, that is.

Jot this down.

I feel anger...anger and blah...anger, blah and arrrgh...anger, blah, arrrgh and humph...

The word of the day my friends is courtesy.

Having trouble conjuring up a meaning or perhaps an anotnym? Never fear, I will assist you with a link.

Damnation!

Days of the Week

Yesterday was Hump day.

That term always makes me giggle. It was only until college that I gleaned the actually reference; hump as in the middle of the week, the portion you have to get over before the weekend... Yeah, that was so not what I thought it was.

Anyway, got to thinking about the days of the week; you know, the ones you learned in elementary school. Monday-Marriage day, Tuesday-...... Come to think of it I only remember Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

What is wrong with schools that they are letting children construct some sort of malignant philosophy on life based on marriage, wedding, and flip up days?

Friday flip up day... You all remember it. The secretly flirtatious and naughtiest day of the week (that's if you understood that Wednesday didn't actually correspond to humping). Ooooh, don't wear your skirts ladies.




And then, there were the girls that seemed to always forget it was flip up day and would wear skirts... Wonder who those 3rd graders are now, wonder where they are...




Okay, so you know you totally did it once on purpose.

But, as a self respecting 3rd grade girl most often you had class enough to forgo the dress or skirt on Friday's.

What the F were Tuesday and Thursday?

Here is what Google turned up... not flipped...turned....

Monday- Marriage day
Tuesday- Toe day
Wednesday-Wedding day
Thursday- Throw Up day (promoting adolescent bulimia)
Friday - Flip Up day (or "Sluts in the Making" day)

I can see how Mondays might seem like a loveless, sexless commitment to the week. Apparently, on Tuesdays you are supposed to walk on your toes, no doubt in an effort to sneak away from said commitment. Wednesday...so wait... You are married first on Monday, but you don't actually celebrate till Wednesday?

And then inevitably regurgitate on Thursday. Yeah, wedding's make me sick too.

Finally, Flip up your skirt on Fridays because... Well, do I NEED to spell it out for you?

My parents are away this weekend and I couldn't be more excited to be alone?

"Why?" You might ask? Some lover going to sneak over, got some big party planned, gonna have one of those cult ceremonies in your living room?

Nope.

I am happy to say that I get to for the first time in months, bemoan my loneliness in the quiet solitude of my residence. I know this kind of sounds crazy to be happy to be alone so that I can sulk about my general loneliness, but I swear there is something so great about quiet, Mallory pity party time. I need this.

I stocked up on supplies for the "party of 1" weekend after work, while others were stocking up on ice, beer and burger buns for their Memorial day weekend. I made a b-line straight for....drum roll please... The Ben And Jerry's; Cake Batter and S'mores to be exact. That should do for 4 days I think. Whilst perusing the many comforting creamy concoctions, I got a whiff of man. Well not man to be exact, but some delightful combination of cologne and man.

Does this affect anyone else? Perhaps it was the lonely spinster ennui I felt towards my life. Or maybe...

My olfactory senses are diabolical. So, if there were any perfect and most opportune time to segeway into the topic of guys, I think pity-party-Ben-and-Jerry's-in-the-Safeway-aisle-giving-up-on-life-and-its-meaning-gal, is the perfect character and beginning to this rant of a blog.

This is going to wax Mary Catherine Gallagher a touch...But, have you ever just really liked a smell? I'm not talking gross smell, like hands under your arm pits or creepy leering guy who smells children's hair. I'm saying, you walk by the perfume counter in Macy's and suddenly can't step away from the Aqua De Gio even though it reminds you of every tool you can recall in the history of tools, or you can't put down the Hugo bottle because it would involve severing your own arms...?

Yeah, that's me. Creepy Mal.

I'm not saying I love the smell of cologne all of the time. For instance, Axe... I immediately want to kick the guy in the teeth, instead of reacting the way the commercials would have you believe. Also, Old Spice...Yeah, my dad smells like old spice, so thats a no.

Guys need to stop with the cologne, it's better for all of us. If you don't want to get kicked in the teeth, or jumped by a fat girl with her fists full of Ben and Jerry's, then maybe go a touch light on the after shave, tone down the cologne please... But, this is not an invitation to not smell good entirely.... stinky man stench is not attractive, girls don't like it 99.9% of the time.

*Ok, I'm really crying of laughter right now because I almost said BJ's instead of Ben and Jerry's...A whole new twist to grocery shopping.

Anyway, I guess my rant is done... Now I will go pop in a little P&P, build myself a blanket nest, eat my sorrows, and have a good pathetic cry.

Through the fog dammnit!